Just Do It

I've been silent for a while so I figured I'd resurface for a quickie.

A couple weeks ago I took much-needed vacation to Newport Beach with the extended fam. Nothing's more refreshing than some vacay time after realizing you've gotten caught in the rhythm of a dying routine. (and by "routine" I'm referring to my running schedule.) I guess it's easy to become a creature of habit when you're trying to work your day around the little sunlight that you've got available to you after work... but I was stuck at 3 miles a pop, unwilling to go further for fear of the encroaching darkness... and worried I wouldn't be able to cut a longer run in time to get home before the sun abandoned me.

Since I've moved here, I've been dying to get on a board and get surfing. In Newport, we got it in... and it's got to be the most zen sport I've ever come across. (theoretically) So this surf instructor, Mike, starts talking to me as we're waiting for the waves to swell... and we're watching all of these little kids trying to stand up without success. And then he says something that hits me the way a fat kid hits the bacon. He says, "surfing is a sport of confidence. the minute you hesitate, the second you look down, you're out." And it's true. It was true that day, and it's true always. And it's not just surfing.

Life is a sport of confidence. (not to be confused with that false sort of arrogance or inflated ego we see in people. let's get real. we're talking about confidence people, not about armor for the exceptionally insecure)

I don't think "life is a sport of confidence" needs an explanation. It's pretty much all there is to it. But it's good to be reminded. (you're welcome!) And after those sparks started flying in my head, I decided to go for the 5 mile run just to switch it up. To break the routine. I decided I'd stop letting fear get in the way - fear that the sun would set on me... fear that I'd tire out at some point... fear that anyone around me cared that I was running at all (they don't). And in some ways it was easier than my usual 3. Because I wasn't worried about anything, I was just doing it. I owned it. And then I did it again. And again. And I'll keep switching it up like that because I think it's important that we keep proving to ourselves that it's all in our heads. Everything is mental (to a certain extent.... let's stay away from the building hopping for now, ok?)

So. Just Do It. I'm outtie. Stay confident. You got this down.

Value for Value

I've been working on this entry for over a week in an attempt to really get a handle on what it's about, but I'm in a "live for the moment" mood so I'm just gonna bang it out and get it over with.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was telling me about a girl who had asked her for change. "It must have been her first day of homelessness," she said, "because she looked pretty clean... and it took me a while to be like 'dude this girl is homeless!'" I couldn't get over it. First day of homelessness? Can you even define that? Do you really have time to think to yourself, "well, looks like today marks day 1 on the streets!" when you're simultaneously trying to avoid the cold nights, dark shadows, and lugging whatever's left of your stuff from park to park to bus stop to vestibule? I don't get it.

At what point do you have NOTHING left to turn to? At what point is there NO ONE willing to take you in? I was honestly questioning it every day, whenever I saw a homeless dude on the streets of LA (I'll reiterate: EVERY day). And after a week or so of writhing about it, I'm asked to check out this website at work. (if you don't want to click the link - it's basically a series of interviews with homeless people in LA) No way, right? Coincidence? No. I don't do coincidence.

The site offers some fascinating character studies about the homeless demographic in LA. Not to mention my two favorite interviews (I've embedded them below) are shot just off the Santa Monica Pier, my personal stomping grounds. I won't be surprised if I see these guys next time I'm down there - they're like my new-found secret celebrities, I guess. And for what?

These brief interviews make it easier to understand how the process works... which is to say that there is no process. Every story is different. No path is the same. Take Mark and Thomas. Insightful in totally different ways.. and.. homeless in totally different ways. So in one sense I'm enlightened and in another sense I've just opened the book to more questions.

Mark from invisiblepeople.tv on Vimeo.

Thomas from invisiblepeople.tv on Vimeo.

OK before I leave I'm gonna up this to the existential level. Get ready to hate me. Or love me. Or just think I'm a total loser- that's cool, too. I've been reading Atlas Shrugged. If you haven't you should. If you have, I suddenly respect you more for getting through that thing. Here's a passage that struck me, mostly because I read it at the same time of this homeless query. Context: super rich lady is asking a super rich man for money to start her own business, in a failing economy.

"I am simply a beggar, Francisco, and I am begging you for money. I had always thought that one did not beg in business. I thought that one stood on the merit of what one had to offer, and gave value for value. That is not so anymore, though I don't understand how we can act on any other rule and continue to exist."

Capitalism, baby! So my new question is... if the wealthy can stoop to acts of begging in times of need (ie: asking for investments without offering any proof of future returns... ie: asking for hand-outs) then can Beggars rise up to the level of wealthy capitalists, even if they stay within the realm of the lower socio-economic status?

How do we use the "teach a man to fish" method with homeless people so that instead of fighting capitalism, they learn how to use it? I'm not suggesting it's possible to get everyone off the streets, much less into the upper class system... that's about as likely as the rich woman not getting her investment and falling into poverty. Not happening. But is it possible to build an infrastructure that motivates street-dwellers to trade "value for value?" Or do these infrastructures already exist? Like recycling centers? When I was living in Boston there was a guy who went through our recycling every day collecting bottles and cans... he was helping us sort our recyclables and getting 5cents a can or whatever the value was... and everybody wins! Value for value. Did it get him out of homelessness, probably not. Did it feed him? Sure. Maybe. I don't know. But my point is - I think that those kinds of incentives, were they to exist on a larger scale, could pull a lot of people off the streets and into something a little bit more comfortable.

So there you go. There's my blog thesis about homelessness and capitalism and how they might actually be able to help each other out.

Yours truly.

The Funz

Alright, so I'm officially amazed at the amount of talent there is in the world. I mean, on the internet. But, you know, also in the world... not on the internet. But let's focus on the internet. Because that's where it's at.

Great intro.

I came upon the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) website where they showcase short films made by various students... and I was blown away by some of the videos up there. The site is kind of slow and needs some work, but once you actually get to the shorts... it's impressive. And I hate being impressed by kids my age, because I should technically be able to create the same type of product, but every once in a while I man up and respect what should be respected despite my ageism.

This particular piece really blew me away. It wasn't the most masterful plot, nor was it the one that made me laugh the hardest (let's face it the funny ones are always the favorites)... what struck me about this short was ingenuity of design. It took me about half-way before I realized that there was no CGI or digital effect use... it just looks like there is. It's visually stunning and the sound editing is really well executed. -And, I'll be honest; I'm a sucker for dance. Hope you like it.

http://www.scadshorts.com/index.php?/52/

Two things have become evident to me in the last few weeks. (1) Most people get their web-fix from YouTube or Hulu. (2) There is so much unbelievable work out there that can't be found in either place. Thankfully I'm working for a company that's looking to solve that problem. And that feels pretty cool. But more on that at the end of the month. Just, you know, keep this issue on the back-burner. Let it simmer for a while. [insert another cooking metaphor here]

Lastly. Star Trek. Talk about a serious blockbuster. I would totally see it again, it was so much fun. I'll spare you the details. All I have to say is that I was impressed by their decision to use character development as part of the primary plot instead of throwing it into a secondary plot-point. When you see the movie you'll know what I mean - it's amazing how we've all adapted to the traditional blockbuster screenplay format without even knowing it. When you see the movie, something about the timing might throw you, and that's when you'll know that you've come to expect a certain formula from every action movie you see. It's become to ingrained. I'm glad that Star Trek mixed it up a bit. Helps me get lost in the movie and not in my watch. Also, Kirk's pretty hot. So if for nothing else, see it for that. Live long and prosper. (I am immediately embarrassed for writing that)

Make Milwaukee Famous

My little brother used to have a Polish nanny. She taught me the value of words. Like how every word is more fun when you end it with "skies." Example: Sarcasm- "I love it when my phone cuts out on me. -NOTSKIES!" or "That guy asked me for my number, but he's a huge tool, so count me OUTSKIES!" It's not like rocket science but it's fun. So feel free to try it out. But don't overuse it or you could risk becoming a giant loser.

At work (yeah, I work now) I have to watch a lot of web videos. It's pretty sweet. Today I reviewed some of the stuff that's up on Snap.fm's blog, Snapbox. Snap.fm was created by a good buddy of mine, Devin, and the Snapbox blog features videos of various indie bands playing live acoustic versions of their songs in various (and often highly random) locations around Boston, Allston, Cambridge and the like. I really approve of Devin's work so far - the videos look awesome and the venue choices add to the appeal. Whenever I had free time last summer, which was never as often as I would have liked, I'd help Devin with the camera work, so being able to see some of the stuff that I shot look as good as it does gives me a serious sense of satisfaction. The editing rocks (I think that's Tom's doing) and the sound quality is really great, considering a lot of the locations weren't condusive to our recording equipment. Did I mention how killer the camera work is? Is that shameless self-promotion? Yeah? Cool, then I'll keep going with that rhythm.

So obviously, these videos make me seriously nostalgic. My favorite shoot that I helped with was for What Made Milwaukee Famous - if you don't know these guys, you should give them a chance. They are so great. But this shoot was my favorite because of how beautiful it looks. It's just a playground in Cambridge, near the Middle East, but for some reason it just screams Boston for me, and watching these vids brings me serious inner peace. A reminder of the good times in a great city. The presence of video in our lives, the ability to capture moving memories, will never not be profound for me. So, enjoy a few memories of mine:



What Made Milwaukee Famous box 4 from Snap FM on Vimeo.


What Made Milwaukee Famous box 3 from Snap FM on Vimeo.

If you liked those, there are more songs from these guys at http://blog.snap.fm/

Also. All Is Love is another band I helped shoot. And I think this video is pretty chill. I'm still amazed we fit the entire band into such a tiny Allston vestibule. Believe it or not, they're like Swedish or something, and they are so. much. fun.


Love Is All box 1 from Snap FM on Vimeo.

Did I mention I'm writing this post from my balcony? Amazing.
Peace out cubscouts.

Got Enough to Go Around

I've been wrestling with the concept of optimism lately. Actually, let's call it positive energy (because let's face it: "optimism" is SO ten years ago). Here's the statement I try to live by: the energy you put out is equal to the energy you attract. If you think positive, you'll attract positive things in your life. I like that it sounds all scientific, because I get less sass from all of the skeptics and disbelievers (and general pessimists). So lately everything's been turning up Killian. Normally I consider this to be a good thing. But things have been SO eerily awesome lately, that I'm starting to wonder if I'm due for a serious fall soon. I mean, is it possible to maintain this kind of high permanently? Or are we all just stuck in a cyclical pattern from which we can't escape, where things get good, then they get bad, and then they get good again? OR is it just totally meaningless and random? I guess the brunt of my curiosity stems from a question that will never, ever, be answerable: How much of our lives do we control?

And since we decidedly cannot answer that question, what's the point of thinking about it? And if there's no point in thinking about it, then what's the point of worrying if things are going to turn sour? And if there's no point in worrying about whether things are going to turn sour, then there's nothing we can do but to just stay positive and enjoy the moment while it's upon us... which brings us back to positive energy. HA! So maybe "positive energy" or "optimism" is purely reactionary. Maybe we can't control our fate by exuding positivity, but who really cares? As long as you're happy with where you're at while you're at it, then there's no real need to worry about whether your happiness is the chicken or the egg in the "what came first?" equation. And honestly, there's probably no harm in assuming that your positive energy attracts positive events because the truth is that even if the event sucks, you'll come away thinking it was positive in the long-run, and isn't that a more pleasant way to live? I think so.

So I'll conclude by saying that there's no reason for me to think that my life is about to take a turn for the worst. As long as I stay positive, I'll stay happy, and the only person who can manipulate that perception is me. We might not have control over the things that happen to us, but we'll always have control over our reactions to those things. And that is what makes optimism so powerful. AMEN, SISTAH!

I heart this Cold War Kids song, and my favorite line kind of fits this post. So have at it.


"she's laughing like a choir girl. she's laughing like a choir girl. when she doubles over it sounds like hallelujah"

Turn the Water. Into Holy Water.

Such a solid video.

Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

It's funny how boredom becomes so stressful after a while. Whenever I'm working in a job that requires a lot of me, I'm begging for a moment of boredom. But when it actually hits, it is the worst feeling ever.

The bottom line is that people don't actually like to be bored. We crave stimulation of one type or another, constantly. Whether we prefer to do it actively or not is a totally different story, but my point holds.

That said, I'm going to stop using the phrase "I'm bored" and instead I'll say, "what can I do right now to activate my mind?"

All Along the Watchtower

Sometimes, we need to be reminded of our capabilities.



I recently saw Watchmen on IMAX. I hadn't read the comic book before seeing the movie, so I felt like it was hitting me at a fresh angle. Bone crushing violence and over indulgent nudity aside, I was pretty rocked. It poses such an interesting question: how far will humanity progress before the only way to save ourselves is to destroy us?

At what point will we be comfortable enough to sit back, even if just for a few minutes, and appreciate what we've already managed to create? We amaze me. Maybe this is just the beginning, but already we have achieved so much.