So This Is The New Year...

Ok so. It's a new year. And I'm giving my blog a total re-haul.

What timing.

I have to preface this with a disclaimer: I'm totally partaking in idea thievery. And I credit it all to Brian Eastman [Eastman's blog: eastmansays.tumblr.com], who credits his blog's layout to his buddy Carlo, who may or may not pass credit to some other bright chap. And so it goes.

"Good artists copy, great artists steal." -Pablo Picasso

..And so it goes.

So here's the new premise: a picture at a time. I don't have time to write about all of the things I do every week. If you've ever read a post of mine you know I'm wordy. So let's save us both the grief.

I want these pictures to express where I'm at on any given day. I want them to illustrate a place and a state of mind.

And then I want these pictures to become a story.

I want to look back as the year turns to 2011.. and be able to pinpoint what has changed and why. And I kind of want you to be able to see it to, if you feel so inclined.

So let's give this bad boy a shot. Happy New Year.

Winter Time

It's winter time.

The last of the snow is melting, drowning in this endless rain, and I'm realizing that a little bit of winter is exactly what I need. I don't mind the cold when I'm not locked into it, when I'm not tied to a winter contract that has no clear deadline. It's nice to sit by a fireplace under layers of clothes, sipping on hot water to warm the finger tips. Taking advantage of everything bitter because it will soon be out of reach.

That is what I love about nomadic life. And that is what I have come to appreciate about mine.

We're at that "let's take a look back at 2009" time of year but this time I'm going a step further. I moved to Los Angeles at the start of 2009, but I'm no stranger to moving... and I've learned that moving a lot has its benefits. One of those benefits is that you're forced to take advantage of the moment - because you never know when you'll be packing up and leaving it all behind. It never really came naturally for me, so I'm glad it was a forced lesson of circumstance. I'm starting to enjoy even the things that are ugly, or uncomfortable.

And I guess if I were trying to create all sorts of resolutions for myself for this next year - having sort of mastered the whole "appreciate every PLACE you go" thing down, I think the next step is to get the whole "appreciate every circumstance you're in" thing down.

I think that translates to: being okay with being dirt poor, being okay on those mornings where there's nothing to do - or too much to do. Being okay with 'what' is - not just 'where' is. Because just as places are bound to change, circumstances are bound to change. And as we gain momentum in our lives and start to get all of those things we're working so hard for, we lose perspective on what it was like before we had any traction at all. And I'd like to think that if you can't find something magical about those darker drearier days, you're really missing out on what it means to live at all.

So that's my 2010 mental challenge. It's gonna be rad.

Well. This turned out to be a whole lot heavier than I expected. Hahah. That's cool, though. 'Tis the season and all that. :)

Stay warm. Happy New Year! Hope you got a lot out of the one that's passed!

Free is a Four Letter Word

I read an article today- wait, that's a lie - I saw the summary of an article today - by Maureen Dowd (she's pretty rad, I dig her) about free speech on the internet. The theory she poses is pretty cool: the internet is supposed to be an outlet for free speech, but because it's so accessible people are actually MORE careful about what they decide to put out there, thus limiting the whole free-speech concept. Irony! We get it! Cool!

So I guess we didn't have to read the article to get the point. (Though I'm sure it's, you know, clever and witty and all that.) But I ran across a perfect example of this today. And as you know, I don't believe in coincidence so I might as well write about it. BACKSTORY!: Some friends and I worked on a little known LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW back at Boston University... called BU Tonight. woot woot. Shout out. Anyway we have some of our episodes posted on YouTube. One such episode featured some "comedians?" performing an act that turned out to be ridiculously offensive... to anyone. So we get an email from one of the "stars" asking us to remove it. And the email went a little something like this:

"Can you please take down two [of our] videos on BU Tonight? One features gratuitous use of a racial slur and the other just isn't very good.

We had a blast on BU Tonight, maybe a little too much fun. The videos are two years old and we'd rather not have them posted for the world to see. It's completely our fault they came out how they did and we hold no hard feelings."

Ah, the repercussions of being a drunken college douchebag. (you know, i almost didn't write that because I know I have family reading this who I respect and who I also kind of want to shelter from the fact that 'douchebag' is part of my daily vocabulary. OH NO! I'M A VICTIM OF FREE SPEECH, TOO!) So while those guys are regretting their past decisions to take advantage of the internet's free speech marketplace, I'm constantly teetering on the edge of where I'll let mine go. But should I be? If I were REALLY writing without ANY censorship, would it be better or worse for me? And would it be more or less entertaining for you? My guess is that it would be way more entertaining for you, and definitely worse for me. So I guess I'll settle for my boring middle-ground. Which makes things just-okay for me and mildly entertaining for you. Compromise, man. It's what brings people... to this place that's not very exciting.

So this has been a long-winded way of making an excuse about not updating this blog more often. I've had plenty to write about, but for some reason writing it all down here just borifies it (that's not a word but what I mean to say is that everything I write is a dumbed-down more boring version of what actually happened in my life to inspire the post). Self-motivated censorship. It's almost worse than if the censorship was forced on me by an outside party. At least then I'd know where I could draw the line. So maybe our lesson here (and hey! maybe Maureen Down addresses this but I wouldn't know because I was too lazy to read the full article!) is that external censorship gives us boundaries... and within those boundaries we are free to express everything and anything we want without the fear of social scorn. And we can push those boundaries... but we'll still be liked and respected as long as we don't cross them. When you don't have boundaries, you don't know how far you can push. And then you go too far. And then you look like an idiot. And then your family wants to disown you, and your boss wants to fire you, and your future bosses don't want to hire you... and down and down the rabbit hole you'll fall.

That is some crazy sh*t.

To think, the internet's allowed for some serious "Lord of the Flies" action. Awesome. I've surprised myself. I thought this entry was gonna suck. But now I actually kind of like it. Score.

It's late and I'm going to bed now. Also. In case you were wondering, LA is hot. But not as hot as where you probably are, which is sticky. So I guess I still kind of win in the "my weather is more awesomer than yours" race, which isn't really technically a race at all....so.. um.. I should really get some sleep.

Just Do It

I've been silent for a while so I figured I'd resurface for a quickie.

A couple weeks ago I took much-needed vacation to Newport Beach with the extended fam. Nothing's more refreshing than some vacay time after realizing you've gotten caught in the rhythm of a dying routine. (and by "routine" I'm referring to my running schedule.) I guess it's easy to become a creature of habit when you're trying to work your day around the little sunlight that you've got available to you after work... but I was stuck at 3 miles a pop, unwilling to go further for fear of the encroaching darkness... and worried I wouldn't be able to cut a longer run in time to get home before the sun abandoned me.

Since I've moved here, I've been dying to get on a board and get surfing. In Newport, we got it in... and it's got to be the most zen sport I've ever come across. (theoretically) So this surf instructor, Mike, starts talking to me as we're waiting for the waves to swell... and we're watching all of these little kids trying to stand up without success. And then he says something that hits me the way a fat kid hits the bacon. He says, "surfing is a sport of confidence. the minute you hesitate, the second you look down, you're out." And it's true. It was true that day, and it's true always. And it's not just surfing.

Life is a sport of confidence. (not to be confused with that false sort of arrogance or inflated ego we see in people. let's get real. we're talking about confidence people, not about armor for the exceptionally insecure)

I don't think "life is a sport of confidence" needs an explanation. It's pretty much all there is to it. But it's good to be reminded. (you're welcome!) And after those sparks started flying in my head, I decided to go for the 5 mile run just to switch it up. To break the routine. I decided I'd stop letting fear get in the way - fear that the sun would set on me... fear that I'd tire out at some point... fear that anyone around me cared that I was running at all (they don't). And in some ways it was easier than my usual 3. Because I wasn't worried about anything, I was just doing it. I owned it. And then I did it again. And again. And I'll keep switching it up like that because I think it's important that we keep proving to ourselves that it's all in our heads. Everything is mental (to a certain extent.... let's stay away from the building hopping for now, ok?)

So. Just Do It. I'm outtie. Stay confident. You got this down.

Value for Value

I've been working on this entry for over a week in an attempt to really get a handle on what it's about, but I'm in a "live for the moment" mood so I'm just gonna bang it out and get it over with.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was telling me about a girl who had asked her for change. "It must have been her first day of homelessness," she said, "because she looked pretty clean... and it took me a while to be like 'dude this girl is homeless!'" I couldn't get over it. First day of homelessness? Can you even define that? Do you really have time to think to yourself, "well, looks like today marks day 1 on the streets!" when you're simultaneously trying to avoid the cold nights, dark shadows, and lugging whatever's left of your stuff from park to park to bus stop to vestibule? I don't get it.

At what point do you have NOTHING left to turn to? At what point is there NO ONE willing to take you in? I was honestly questioning it every day, whenever I saw a homeless dude on the streets of LA (I'll reiterate: EVERY day). And after a week or so of writhing about it, I'm asked to check out this website at work. (if you don't want to click the link - it's basically a series of interviews with homeless people in LA) No way, right? Coincidence? No. I don't do coincidence.

The site offers some fascinating character studies about the homeless demographic in LA. Not to mention my two favorite interviews (I've embedded them below) are shot just off the Santa Monica Pier, my personal stomping grounds. I won't be surprised if I see these guys next time I'm down there - they're like my new-found secret celebrities, I guess. And for what?

These brief interviews make it easier to understand how the process works... which is to say that there is no process. Every story is different. No path is the same. Take Mark and Thomas. Insightful in totally different ways.. and.. homeless in totally different ways. So in one sense I'm enlightened and in another sense I've just opened the book to more questions.

Mark from invisiblepeople.tv on Vimeo.

Thomas from invisiblepeople.tv on Vimeo.

OK before I leave I'm gonna up this to the existential level. Get ready to hate me. Or love me. Or just think I'm a total loser- that's cool, too. I've been reading Atlas Shrugged. If you haven't you should. If you have, I suddenly respect you more for getting through that thing. Here's a passage that struck me, mostly because I read it at the same time of this homeless query. Context: super rich lady is asking a super rich man for money to start her own business, in a failing economy.

"I am simply a beggar, Francisco, and I am begging you for money. I had always thought that one did not beg in business. I thought that one stood on the merit of what one had to offer, and gave value for value. That is not so anymore, though I don't understand how we can act on any other rule and continue to exist."

Capitalism, baby! So my new question is... if the wealthy can stoop to acts of begging in times of need (ie: asking for investments without offering any proof of future returns... ie: asking for hand-outs) then can Beggars rise up to the level of wealthy capitalists, even if they stay within the realm of the lower socio-economic status?

How do we use the "teach a man to fish" method with homeless people so that instead of fighting capitalism, they learn how to use it? I'm not suggesting it's possible to get everyone off the streets, much less into the upper class system... that's about as likely as the rich woman not getting her investment and falling into poverty. Not happening. But is it possible to build an infrastructure that motivates street-dwellers to trade "value for value?" Or do these infrastructures already exist? Like recycling centers? When I was living in Boston there was a guy who went through our recycling every day collecting bottles and cans... he was helping us sort our recyclables and getting 5cents a can or whatever the value was... and everybody wins! Value for value. Did it get him out of homelessness, probably not. Did it feed him? Sure. Maybe. I don't know. But my point is - I think that those kinds of incentives, were they to exist on a larger scale, could pull a lot of people off the streets and into something a little bit more comfortable.

So there you go. There's my blog thesis about homelessness and capitalism and how they might actually be able to help each other out.

Yours truly.

The Funz

Alright, so I'm officially amazed at the amount of talent there is in the world. I mean, on the internet. But, you know, also in the world... not on the internet. But let's focus on the internet. Because that's where it's at.

Great intro.

I came upon the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) website where they showcase short films made by various students... and I was blown away by some of the videos up there. The site is kind of slow and needs some work, but once you actually get to the shorts... it's impressive. And I hate being impressed by kids my age, because I should technically be able to create the same type of product, but every once in a while I man up and respect what should be respected despite my ageism.

This particular piece really blew me away. It wasn't the most masterful plot, nor was it the one that made me laugh the hardest (let's face it the funny ones are always the favorites)... what struck me about this short was ingenuity of design. It took me about half-way before I realized that there was no CGI or digital effect use... it just looks like there is. It's visually stunning and the sound editing is really well executed. -And, I'll be honest; I'm a sucker for dance. Hope you like it.

http://www.scadshorts.com/index.php?/52/

Two things have become evident to me in the last few weeks. (1) Most people get their web-fix from YouTube or Hulu. (2) There is so much unbelievable work out there that can't be found in either place. Thankfully I'm working for a company that's looking to solve that problem. And that feels pretty cool. But more on that at the end of the month. Just, you know, keep this issue on the back-burner. Let it simmer for a while. [insert another cooking metaphor here]

Lastly. Star Trek. Talk about a serious blockbuster. I would totally see it again, it was so much fun. I'll spare you the details. All I have to say is that I was impressed by their decision to use character development as part of the primary plot instead of throwing it into a secondary plot-point. When you see the movie you'll know what I mean - it's amazing how we've all adapted to the traditional blockbuster screenplay format without even knowing it. When you see the movie, something about the timing might throw you, and that's when you'll know that you've come to expect a certain formula from every action movie you see. It's become to ingrained. I'm glad that Star Trek mixed it up a bit. Helps me get lost in the movie and not in my watch. Also, Kirk's pretty hot. So if for nothing else, see it for that. Live long and prosper. (I am immediately embarrassed for writing that)

Make Milwaukee Famous

My little brother used to have a Polish nanny. She taught me the value of words. Like how every word is more fun when you end it with "skies." Example: Sarcasm- "I love it when my phone cuts out on me. -NOTSKIES!" or "That guy asked me for my number, but he's a huge tool, so count me OUTSKIES!" It's not like rocket science but it's fun. So feel free to try it out. But don't overuse it or you could risk becoming a giant loser.

At work (yeah, I work now) I have to watch a lot of web videos. It's pretty sweet. Today I reviewed some of the stuff that's up on Snap.fm's blog, Snapbox. Snap.fm was created by a good buddy of mine, Devin, and the Snapbox blog features videos of various indie bands playing live acoustic versions of their songs in various (and often highly random) locations around Boston, Allston, Cambridge and the like. I really approve of Devin's work so far - the videos look awesome and the venue choices add to the appeal. Whenever I had free time last summer, which was never as often as I would have liked, I'd help Devin with the camera work, so being able to see some of the stuff that I shot look as good as it does gives me a serious sense of satisfaction. The editing rocks (I think that's Tom's doing) and the sound quality is really great, considering a lot of the locations weren't condusive to our recording equipment. Did I mention how killer the camera work is? Is that shameless self-promotion? Yeah? Cool, then I'll keep going with that rhythm.

So obviously, these videos make me seriously nostalgic. My favorite shoot that I helped with was for What Made Milwaukee Famous - if you don't know these guys, you should give them a chance. They are so great. But this shoot was my favorite because of how beautiful it looks. It's just a playground in Cambridge, near the Middle East, but for some reason it just screams Boston for me, and watching these vids brings me serious inner peace. A reminder of the good times in a great city. The presence of video in our lives, the ability to capture moving memories, will never not be profound for me. So, enjoy a few memories of mine:



What Made Milwaukee Famous box 4 from Snap FM on Vimeo.


What Made Milwaukee Famous box 3 from Snap FM on Vimeo.

If you liked those, there are more songs from these guys at http://blog.snap.fm/

Also. All Is Love is another band I helped shoot. And I think this video is pretty chill. I'm still amazed we fit the entire band into such a tiny Allston vestibule. Believe it or not, they're like Swedish or something, and they are so. much. fun.


Love Is All box 1 from Snap FM on Vimeo.

Did I mention I'm writing this post from my balcony? Amazing.
Peace out cubscouts.

Got Enough to Go Around

I've been wrestling with the concept of optimism lately. Actually, let's call it positive energy (because let's face it: "optimism" is SO ten years ago). Here's the statement I try to live by: the energy you put out is equal to the energy you attract. If you think positive, you'll attract positive things in your life. I like that it sounds all scientific, because I get less sass from all of the skeptics and disbelievers (and general pessimists). So lately everything's been turning up Killian. Normally I consider this to be a good thing. But things have been SO eerily awesome lately, that I'm starting to wonder if I'm due for a serious fall soon. I mean, is it possible to maintain this kind of high permanently? Or are we all just stuck in a cyclical pattern from which we can't escape, where things get good, then they get bad, and then they get good again? OR is it just totally meaningless and random? I guess the brunt of my curiosity stems from a question that will never, ever, be answerable: How much of our lives do we control?

And since we decidedly cannot answer that question, what's the point of thinking about it? And if there's no point in thinking about it, then what's the point of worrying if things are going to turn sour? And if there's no point in worrying about whether things are going to turn sour, then there's nothing we can do but to just stay positive and enjoy the moment while it's upon us... which brings us back to positive energy. HA! So maybe "positive energy" or "optimism" is purely reactionary. Maybe we can't control our fate by exuding positivity, but who really cares? As long as you're happy with where you're at while you're at it, then there's no real need to worry about whether your happiness is the chicken or the egg in the "what came first?" equation. And honestly, there's probably no harm in assuming that your positive energy attracts positive events because the truth is that even if the event sucks, you'll come away thinking it was positive in the long-run, and isn't that a more pleasant way to live? I think so.

So I'll conclude by saying that there's no reason for me to think that my life is about to take a turn for the worst. As long as I stay positive, I'll stay happy, and the only person who can manipulate that perception is me. We might not have control over the things that happen to us, but we'll always have control over our reactions to those things. And that is what makes optimism so powerful. AMEN, SISTAH!

I heart this Cold War Kids song, and my favorite line kind of fits this post. So have at it.


"she's laughing like a choir girl. she's laughing like a choir girl. when she doubles over it sounds like hallelujah"

Turn the Water. Into Holy Water.

Such a solid video.

Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

It's funny how boredom becomes so stressful after a while. Whenever I'm working in a job that requires a lot of me, I'm begging for a moment of boredom. But when it actually hits, it is the worst feeling ever.

The bottom line is that people don't actually like to be bored. We crave stimulation of one type or another, constantly. Whether we prefer to do it actively or not is a totally different story, but my point holds.

That said, I'm going to stop using the phrase "I'm bored" and instead I'll say, "what can I do right now to activate my mind?"

All Along the Watchtower

Sometimes, we need to be reminded of our capabilities.



I recently saw Watchmen on IMAX. I hadn't read the comic book before seeing the movie, so I felt like it was hitting me at a fresh angle. Bone crushing violence and over indulgent nudity aside, I was pretty rocked. It poses such an interesting question: how far will humanity progress before the only way to save ourselves is to destroy us?

At what point will we be comfortable enough to sit back, even if just for a few minutes, and appreciate what we've already managed to create? We amaze me. Maybe this is just the beginning, but already we have achieved so much.

Fool's Paradise

Clarifying my last post: I was not suggesting that we are submerged in a second Great Depression. I'm not a financial analyst. I'm just taking note that if things get worse, we've got a little piece of history to learn from (cough*GreatDepression*cough).

That said, here's something hilarious:

Ironically, my buddy found that photo on TwitPic.

And what is it about Twitter that gets people going? Is it reasonable to be that interested in letting everyone know what menial tasks you're completing throughout the day? Are we all just growing increasingly retarded?

Sure, it makes sense for a business to post new details about their services, I guess. And maybe somebody out there really wants to know what his/her favorite celebrity is doing at all times of the day (stalker) but are we growing that self-absorbed as a demographic that we really think people care about what we're doing?

I have enough faith that Twitter will grow to be something substantial, but it's gonna get blown out of the water by other social media sites sooner rather than later if it can't offer a bigger benefit than the current "look who's over-feeding their cat!" service. I could very well be proven wrong, but only at the expense of my faith in the human intellect. Let's try to avoid turning into a bunch of Twits.

Time to Pretend

After my last post I couldn't stop repeating that last question I posed, "What are our alternatives?" It just went over and over in my head. How can 20-somethings of today avoid the basic setbacks of the current economic slump? There has to be a way.

Firstly, let me just say that I can't (yet) resign myself to jobs that sound awful just for the sake of having a job. I've got at least another month in me to seek positions that could actually expand my skill set in a way that makes me feel productive and fulfilled. Using the economy as an excuse for laziness when it comes to job-hunting is too easy. Not to say it's not difficult, but if you want something then it's like I just said... there has to be a way... to get it. So try, try, try. The economy is an excuse - just don't use it as one.

But let's just sayyy that as hard as we try to go after whatever it is we want, the economy throws us to the dogs. You're the first to get fired or you're almost hired but the corporate exec says "on second thought, we can't afford this." Or your project gets canceled three weeks in. Whatever. How do we 20-somethings support ourselves financially AND maintain our learning curve when there's no one out there who's willing to teach us?

Naturally, I did a little history research. How did young people do it in the 1930s? If history is in the process of repeating itself, then we might as well learn from history, itself. (pun?)

Here are some points to consider:
-The Great Depression really, really, sucked. Like. Really. Sucked.
-In large part, America recovered because of WWII... and something tells me that the Iraq war II isn't going to be as helpful this time around.
-According to some guy on the internet, "young adults lost confidence in themselves and lowered their ambitions" during the Great Depression, which sounds vaguely familiar to the current plight of 20-somethings. Other sites have noted that young adults became increasingly more interested in music and entertainment. (That explains my grandma's life long love of Big Bands) While still other young adults decided to further their education at colleges where they could continue to learn while getting jobs on campus to pay for room and board.

Ok, so there aren't a lot of articles that focus on the successful youths during the Depression. In fairness, I didn't spend a lot of time looking - BUT I've already reached a conclusion, and it's not "plastics" so feel free to keep reading.

The key, I think, is NOT to lose confidence and NOT to lower your ambition. The kids who acheived any kind of success after the depression were the kids who didn't resign themselves to it. Technology is so expansive right now, and that is something we have now that nobody had back in the 1930s. Our success through this economic slump is going to have to be mental.

If you're interested in finance but had to get a job flipping burgers or serving beer, you've got a whole slough of websites that will not only keep you in the know but that you can contribute to, which will make you feel like you're maintaining some kind of learning curve... and when you're at that next job interview you'll spend most of your time impressing the guy behind the desk because you never lost your ambition.

If you're looking to get into entertainment, even better. Not only will entertainment be in demand, but these days you can do it in short bursts through YouTube, for free, whenever you're not walking dogs for money. Resume building. Take advantage of your resources- they are out there and they are vast.

Set your sights high and stay informed. Stay confident. When you have to explain to yourself at your next job interview, you say "Yeah, I served beer and I walked dogs. But look at all of this stuff I contributed to that has to do with what you do. Because I want this." If that guy doesn't hire you he's an idiot.

It's probably not our only alternative to suffering through the economic slump, but hey, in theory, it's worth trying. Man this has been preachy. But at least I've soothed my own nerves. And let's face it, my posts are generally just a way to hear myself talk (in my head? through type?).

Now it's time to take my own advice. And if you take my advice, I expect full credit.

The Broken Social Shift

For new readers and old: Welcome. This blog is taking a shift from the documentation of a road warrior moving toward the coast of opportunity to the observations of a 20-something in a new city, in a new economy, and teetering on the edge of a new frontier. Enjoy.


I had a phone call scheduled today with a production company exec, and as I arranged a time to speak with him via his secretary, I received a very kind but extremely alarming sentiment. "I am so sorry that you're looking for a job right now! What a terrible time to come to LA in search of employment!" Humbling, to say the least.

If the adrenaline didn't start pumping through my body at dangerous levels, it should have, because this kind of misery does not love condolences. Condolences remind misery that it has company. And company is the ugliest reality for misery right now. The worst thing you can say to a 20-something at a time like this is "you're not alone" because it only translates to "your competition is heavier."

So when the competition is heavier, we 20-somethings need heavier leverage. What can we do to ensure our long-term success? Most of us are willing to settle for a lame job that won't advance our chosen career paths because we need the income. Fine. But taking the lame job debilitates your chances of climbing the ladder and gaining experience in the field you really love. And let's say 10 years go by, we're now 30-somethings, and we're competing with a fresh brand of 20-somethings for the same job - what leverage will we have then? And can we really risk wasting 10 years of our lives doing something we hate just for the sake of having something stable? What are our alternatives?

UPS Update

It's been a while but I was recently self-diagnosed with the plague, so now that I'm back in business I'll have some solid "what it's like to get used to Los Angeles" news.

As far as UPS. I feel like I have to voice my mounting rage.

My DEAR friend Melissa, my only contact in Champaign, IL, went to the UPS Store to check out the damages to my shipment. Good news and bad news.

Good news: Not everything was damaged - my canvas paintings are in fine shape. And the large gold frame was completely in tact, no glass shattered.

The Bad News: As Melissa put it, "if you remember in the beginning of Ace Ventura where he was kicking around the box, down the hall, smashing it, glass coming out, etc....yeah that's what your box looked like." AWESOME! Such care! Such graceful handling. Such regard for the "FRAGILE" warning written all over the place. Really sad that I can't count on a shipping company to handle a package with any kind of grace.

My Problem: It's not like I can't replace what's gone. I can, and I will. It's just that as it stands, I have officially paid UPS to break a bunch of stuff without delivering it to me. Imagine. I PAID a company to break my shit. That. Is. Unreal.

How this Problem could be solved: UPS could do one of two things. (1) COMP ME for my original shipment as they technically never delivered it to me. (2) just let me re-ship my damaged package for free. After all, the outrageous thing is that THEY DIDN'T DELIVER THE DAMAGED PACKAGE TO MY DOOR! What is WRONG with them? I could have at LEAST salvaged one of the frames (now I have to leave it behind because I can't afford to ship it) and I wouldn't have had to get my poor friend Melissa to do all my dirty work for me - I mean what if I had no one in Champaign to retrieve the damaged box?! I'd be royally screwed over. The whole "we're shipping it back to the sender/UPS Store because we broke it" is the most ABSURD notion I have ever heard. Put my box on the front lines of Iraq if you want to but DO YOUR JOB AND GET IT TO MY DOORSTEP. Unbelievable.

I am forever turned off to this company, though I'd be willing to reconsider if I was able to speak to someone at UPS with the decency to understand its own absurdity. I doubt there's anyone as heroic in this day and age. It's sad - how far will this kind of consumer abuse go, and is this kind of behavior leading us into an even thicker fog of distrust in our society today? It certainly doesn't help.

The Kiwi Circus Brigade

I've been here for what, 4 days? now and there's already so much to discuss!

The first is that I will never use UPS again. The regular old Post Office treated my boxes with more care than that ugly brown company could manage to do. I had a box of large frames and sentimental paintings on canvas that apparently made it all the way to Los Angeles before someone in a big brown van PUNCTURED the box, breaking the glass, and then blamed me for poor packaging. Wow, I'm really sorry that I didn't package it well enough to withstand the force of a sledge hammer to cardboard. But beyond that, UPS decided it would be smarter to ship the box ALL THE WAY BACK to Champaign, IL (where I shipped it from just before picking up Melissa for our ride) instead of holding it in Los Angeles for pick up. TWO THINGS wrong with this: (a) shipping it all the way back will only risk it for more damage. (b) I don't have any way of getting to Champaign to retrieve the package, and therefore it must be re-shipped to me... and UPS is going to charge me for that (and this was the most expensive package I shipped, hands down). What's even creepier is that the UPS agent in Champaign seemed to be totally numb to my hysterical sobbing. Yikes. (also kind of yikes that I was as hysterical as I was but let's totally ignore that please).

On the brighter side, my apartment is perfect and in the most beautiful little neighborhood. I'll have pictures of it soon but my camera is broken at the moment. Contrary to my expectations, I actually have a lot of things around me that I can walk to. A grocery store, a few little restaurants, and a sports bar. -a sports bar that, might I just say, actually plays the Boston Beanpot games on their TVs! Yay for Boston love! Yay for it being so close to my house! And if I'm feeling really frisky, I can walk three miles to the beach - though I'm considering buying a bike for that. Regardless, it's so nice to be able to go outside -in shorts- in February. I went for a jog around my neighborhood yesterday and the only thing running through my head was "I can't believe how not cold I am right now."

Roommates Greg and Justin are fantastic. Justin and I are both looking for work so we enjoy filling our days with trips to thrift stores to look for furniture for our apartment. It's a little bit bare at the moment - though I've dressed up a couple of folding chairs with oversized cushions. I knew those things would come in handy! Justin and I also have to figure out a way to transport said furniture, once we find anything good. Tricky.

Justin also has a Wii! And he programmed his Wii to be able to play any NES or Super Nintendo game that was ever created! And while watching him play some very archaic NES game I had this incredibly vivid flashback to a game I used to play when I was like 4 years old with my older brother. (honestly it was like having a psychic vision - i couldnt quite make out what the game was about but i knew the main character was very short and there were flaming hoops involved and animals... so, a circus. also included in my flashback was the exact scent of our house we lived in at the time) So, naturally, I called Michael and demanded that he remember what game it was. He, too, had forgotten all about this glorious game until I brought it up. Thank god for older brothers - Michael figured out that the game is called "Circus Charlie." What's amazing about this particular game is that we played it when we were living in Tokyo... and this game was never released in the States (for shame, as it is the best game ever). SO! Justin, being the glorious roommate that he is, downloaded the game to his Wii in a matter of minutes. NOSTALGIA! I have never been so happy as I am when I jump that little lion-riding-clown through those flaming hoops of fire. It's kind of sad, but it's actually like re-living a little piece of my Tokyo childhood.

In other news, Greg is part of couchsurfing.com so he occassionally hosts far off travelers who need a free place to crash. For the last two nights we have hosted a pair of New Zealand ladies, Jane and Leslie, and it has been great fun. They're great people and it's going to be fun hosting travelers and learning about all of their great adventures. (assuming we don't suddenly host a bad egg, but it sounds like the site is pretty well regulated and keeps the crazies away)

On the Kiwis' first night here we all went to the Upright Citizens Brigade Comedy Club in Hollywood. We picked up our other BU Alum friend Ben on the way. Two guys from the comedy group Human Giant were hosting it, and Ed Helms (of The Office) was one of the stand-up performers. It was pretty cool - and even better because it only cost $5. I was called up on stage for one bit (I had to prove that the cookies Whoopi Goldberg sent Paul Scheer for his birthday tasted gross) and one of the only reasons I was pulled on stage (aside from Ben literally pushing me forward) was that Rob Huebel noticed I was crossing my arms, which made it LOOK like I wasn't having fun (despite the laughing?) when in reality I was just FREEZING because I was sitting right underneath the air conditioning unit. So there you have it. When you need a little attention in LA, just act cold. (PUN!)

Beach time! If you're reading this, please pray for my UPS package.

"Los Angeles, I'm Yours"

It's been a couple of days due to move-in distraction (aka blowing my budget at Bed Bath and Beyond and getting horrifying calls from UPS about a damaged box). But the last leg of the trip went a little bit like this:

We left Arizona asap and jumped back on I-10. As it turns out, I-10 west runs all the way to Santa Monica, which is exactly where we intended to go. My new place is just 3 miles east of the ocean and because I started from Gloucester, which sits quite literally on the Atlantic, just ten days earlier, I made it a point to touch the Pacific Ocean. Make it count.

The road from Arizona into California is as beautiful as the rest has been. No shortage of things to look at from any angle. We passed a huge plot of wind turbines. I've seen them before, but not in this quantity, I don't think. They're actually quite graceful. It's funny to try to juxtapose them from the oil pumping jacks we saw in Texas. As I've said about the jacks- they are isolated from each other in no particular pattern, and they slowly and repetitively bow to the ground like they're shackled. The wind turbines stand tall. They're not depressing to look at, in fact they're kind of inspiring. Could this be foreshadowing the future of energy? I hope so.

Also, I kissed a Cactus and we've labeled the photo "Forbidden Love."
Those things are seriously tall.

Full Circle: you will NEVER believe it. But as we were just over the city limits into Los Angeles we caught a glimpse of the WEINERMOBILE!! It was headed East, the opposite direction, and at high speeds so we couldn't get a shot of it. But we all kind of sat in silent shock after noting it. It was strange to see it entering Los Angeles, since we first saw it as we were leaving Chicago - our first leg as a collective group. Anyway. Weinermobile TWICE in one road trip? That's got to be some kind of record.

We hit Santa Monica just as the sun was setting. After the inevitable traffic, we found a parking spot and headed to the ocean. Talk about the perfect welcome. Touching the Pacific was like crossing the finish line at a marathon. I had been traveling for 10 days, 7 with Jeff and Melissa. Our coast to coast mission was complete. And none of us really knew what to think about it. So we just kind of enjoyed the sunset. And Jeff, who had silently been dreading Los Angeles, actually seemed to like it.


I'll be writing more posts, but as far as the road trip is concerned, it was probably the most fun any of the three of us has had in a very, very long time. This country is huge, and nothing can depict that as clearly as driving through it. I was so lucky to have the people on board that I had. We really enjoyed the ride, and how many times in our lives do we actually enjoy the ride?

The end is just the beginning. Not just for me, but for Jeff and Melissa, too. They dropped everything to jump into a car and help me move cross-country. And it seems like the trip was exactly what they needed to re-evaluate their own day-to-day pursuits. And how could they not start thinking about the big picture when they're staring at the sunset over the white sands national monument, or Mt. Picacho, or the Santa Monica pier? I think this trip could spark new beginnings for all of us. And that's freaking amazing.

The Road

To be honest, I'm actually finally ready to get to L.A. - and how fitting, because we'll be there today.



Yesterday was a great drive. We took the scenic route to get from Truth or Consequences back to I-10... after exploring Truth or Consequences more extensively, of course. How could we not? The town is named after a TV show. And it's adorable. Flat out. Adorable.

We went to a very small gourmet chocolate shop, Coco Re'al, (Melissa is studying food science and her masters thesis is on chocolate so we took it as part o
f her research) and I asked the young woman who recently opened the shop (really great stuff in there, by the way) if she loved living in New Mexico and she thought about it and said, "Yeah, I do. I mean, you just have to believe in it, you know?" No, I don't know. But that's the most amazing response I've ever heard to such a simple question. You just have to believe in it? Like... as in.. it's magic? Yes! Hello, state motto.

Jeff also found me a SWEET trucker hat in T or C (the town's nickname). I have a nickname for my car: the silver bullet. And he found me a hat with that inscription. Love at first sight.

We were all very sad when we drove over the state line into Arizona. I mean, yay for Arizona and all.. but we really couldn't get over New Mexico. We had to pull over a few times, as we were hugging the cliffs that wound around through the Black Mountain range, to see the views. They were breathtaking, as you might expect. And as you might be able to tell from the photos. I'd go back in a heartbeat. I almost want to go back right now, but I'd probably never leave and that might not go over well with a whole lot of people.



I'm kind of too tired to talk about Arizona - but I was really excited to see those tall cacti. We haven't really explored it so I wouldn't have that much to say anyway. We stopped in Tucson but for the first time we hadn't scheduled a hotel ahead of time, and because it was still early in the day, we decided to push it to Phoenix for the night. It's only a 6 hour drive from Phoenix to Los Angeles, so we'll have some time to take some more scenic routes today.

The one thing I WILL say about Phoenix is that it wasn't easy to find a place to eat, even with the internet on our side. Finally we just opted for a place closest to our hotel and it was called the Purple Turtle Sports Bar. Ok. We almost missed it when we drove by because it's part of a strip mall - and it has no windows - and the doors are painted the same color as their surrounding walls, with a hand painted "Purple Turtle" on them - and there were only pick up trucks parked outside. So. Sketchy only just begins to describe it. And after slight hesitation, we decided to just do it. Jeff went in first to check it out and came back with a wicked smile. "It's like the type of western bar in a movie where a huge bar fight breaks out and someone gets whacked with a pool cue. And there's a Mexican guy in there wearing a crown. We have to do this." He was right. We had to. So we did. Oddly enough, the trucker hat gave me a newfound sense of security. To make everything better - it was Karaoke night. Perfection! But as it turns out all of the people were really just good people and not sketchy at all. They couldn't have cared less that we were the only white kids in the bar. No bar fights to be had. Just a bunch of people with tough day jobs getting together to enjoy pool, drinks, and karaoke. It was delightful. So that was our impression of Phoenix.

Today it's the Arizona desert... and Los Angeles.

Just Truth, No Consequences

New Mexico's state motto is "Land of Enchantment." We laughed when we first saw that, but then we got up this morning... and then we followed through with our day.

We started the day at the Carlsbad Caverns... 750 feet underground. It took us two and a half hours to walk through the entire series of caves, and it was kind of like walking on mars. Nothing is familiar. The only way to convince yourself it's of this planet is to try to see things in the structures. You know, "that one looks like jabba the hut," etc. But really, it was very cool. Very, very cool. I got vertigo a couple of times and when looking into the 'bottomless pit' I think my life flashed before my eyes. It was perfect.

After a scenic drive through a barren desert, northwest-ish, we were suddenly winding beside mountains at 6,000 feet elevation. From (-)750 feet to 6,000 feet in a matter of minutes - that's pretty enchanting. Also, there are a lot of dogs that ride freely in the back of pick-up trucks here, but today we saw a dog pacing on the top of the truck bed, barking at nothing, and it was slightly unnerving. So I took a photo! We also saw a pistachio farm with a giant pistachio out front - so I took a photo!

And then there was Roswell. Oh, Roswell. They've really made it a point to capitalize on the alien thing...obviously. We went to the UFO museum - probably the most ridiculous, poorly planned out museum I've ever seen, but it was only $5 so it was well worth the experience. Hilarious. Really. And kind of interesting, too, actually. The parts that weren't hilarious were interesting. Was there a cover up? Probably. Was it an alien space craft? Um... I don't really think so. But that's just me. Most of the shops in the area were named with some kind of Alien pun in mind. Classy!

Westbound, we wound through a few more mountains, a bit more desert, and through an Apache reservation (wasn't quite what I was expecting.. I couldn't tell it was a reservation until I saw the Casino I just kind of got sad). So much to take in for one day and it was only half over.


We stopped at the White Sands National Monument - this is a MUST SEE at sunset. I couldn't believe it was America. It was the most AMAZING, strange, breathtaking place I've seen in a very, very long time. The sand looks like snow, and the dunes go on for miles. Surrounded by red mountains, that turn black against the sunset, the sky just turns pink. Pink against blue against yellow against the most pristine white. We ran up and down the dunes, made sand angels, did cartwheels. And it was so quiet we could hear each other perfectly from the tops of our three very distant dunes. That was kind of weird, but also really awesome. I can't recommend this place more. I really can't.

And then, to finish up the day, we drive to a little town called Truth or Consequences. New Mexico, I love you. This town was named after the TV show way back when. Shout out to Devin for recommending it. We found this little Inn called Blackstone Hotsprings that's supposed to be for couples, I guess (i mean it IS adorable).. but that's okay we slipped a third person in and they were nice about it. This place has a super deep tub and the water streaming into it is DIRECTLY from the hot springs that this town is known for. The water comes flowing into the tub, waterfall fashion, at 106 degrees. It is SO nice. Probably the perfect way to end a seriously productive day.

And with that I'm exhausted.

Oh yeah, and the stars out here are incredible. INCREDIBLE.
"Land of Enchantment," I believe you.